My family are comedians.

My daddy is not funny :(

i was trying to make him to me to ASDA so i can get some new earphones. And he was like i'll take you in the morning on my way to work, there is a big bag of onions on offer you could get, then you could carry them back on your head while your out running. people will come into work and say to me they saw a funny girl running with a bag of onions on her head, and i'll be like 'thats my daughter'

then he started laughing a lot and making fun of me for things. My family are just all comedians aren't they.

Brother Daniel always has some wise crack joke to say about me whenever i see him.

Brother Jamie made fun of me at tea time today and when he drove me the other day all i heard from him was mean things.

Mum isnt funny, she laughs at her own jokes, but i mainly just laugh at her because she thinks she's funny..

And kirsty, well she has my humour i think, you can decide if thats funny or not.

la de da x x x

I'm a runner

I've been running now i'm back in Dundee, like proper outside running, rather than having to do my running in glasgow up and down the 13 flights of stairs in my building.

It was sunny today for my run, but i blew over.. ah well..

to make things worse a dog started chasing me, so i had to properly run, then i got tired and fell over and the dog caught up with me and licked my face, NICE. Just what i wanted, dog slobbers all over my face. The owner was like, uhh sorry, but is fine, Mango the dog found another victim.

The mother tried to cover up cheese and make me eat it today by hiding it inside the pasta, totally didn't work, i could taste the rubber texture with one bite, so father ate my dinner for me instead. Father came back today because he couldn't fly out to Budapest in the end.

Anyhow... i'm gonna leave, i'm meeting my friends in a bit, so i should get ready. :)

see ya in a while x x x

Abused by wind

Okay people.. did you see the insane wind outside today?! i was going to say did you see the insanity of the wind, but that isn't right, ha.

But anyway, i was bored, and thought well i'll go for a wander down to the beach. Worst plan EVER.

i was hit by flying stones, leaves, branches, and a bin flew over and hit me. i had to climb over a tree in the middle of the road that had fallen over and my earphones blew away. Bad times. I didn't reach the beach.

Plus i bumped into my old school teachers who were laughing at the state of my hair, i clearly don't suit the windswept look, my head had turned into a ginger bush.

i come back to find the mothership pushing things over in the garden, as if the wind hadn't done enough! She claims it was so the wind didn't push it over, believable of course.

The Fathership went off to Budapest today without telling me or even saying goodbye, he made a joke about getting away from me now that i'm home again, jokes on him cause he is stuck at the airport now cause of the wind.

One thing i forgot to mention yesterday about abigail, she wet herself when we went to mull, claiming it was the sand that wet her, but really she wet the sand, and ended up doing a rachel by taking her skirt off.

Anyway, the sister (she doesn't deserve 'ship' after her name') is in Bulgaria, i really think everyone is trying to get away from me, anyway i wonder if she'll get back cause of all this nonsense about ANOTHER ash cloud from Iceland,

I'm pretty sure everyone hates Iceland now, just because of their volcano, if it was me in charge of Iceland, i would just roll cling film over the top of the volcano so that no more ash clouds occurred.

Over and Out x x x

Specially for her

Now my bestest friend Abigail is sad with me because she recently found out i killed a purple flower, so here is my apology for her, writing a post all about her. :)

She is the girl i do the craziest things with. She's mad and hilarious and cries when she laughs too much which i love.

We go on holidays together like Oban and Corfu and once even Mull.

We do fight a lot, but its never real fights, just because we can never not talk, something always has to be said, so we start arguing cause we have nothing to talk about.

Lavender, you get on my head.

She was the one that saved me from the hypnotizing picture.

We exchange Christmas presents late every year and are still to exchange them for Christmas 2010.

Her passion is watching Sky High over and over again, she knows every single word to it..

*punch* YOU KNOW WHY. :D

We are the same person really..

She's an emotional wreck and runs like a spider.

We have the same taste in films and we are the people everyone hates in the cinema cause we talk and laugh.

Abigail LOVES watching that old film sabrina ;)

'''Need more SUGAR'' ;) not chocolate...

She fills up half of my quotes book, as she is the sillyest person ever.

There are too many memories we have together to all write here as i have known her all my life.

We have a bunch of films that we have to see together, we can't watch them unless we are together and we have a lot to catch up on.

We love Alan from the hangover, what a legend.

we're the 2 best friends that anyone could have, the 2 best friends that anyone could have.

I moved to Glasgow for her ... ;) (mainly for uni though)

We have love books because we are that cool. And we make AWESOME chat show hosts, which is what we'll do one day, you'll see.

Kitkats will be coming to a television near you soon. haha

LFTLB Abigail!

I'm so sorry Abigail for killing that flower. Accept my apology.

再見 x x x

(thats goodbye in chinese... told you i'd learn it Abigail)

New Day stuff..

Thought it is about time to talk about something real again, i mean the last thing was probably the whole Bin Laden situation, so its about time i put my thoughts into more news yes.

So what was with this whole, world ending today nonsense. i mean come on, who comes up with garbage like this. No one can predict anything in this world. i can't even predict what i'm having for dinner, let alone some loony telling us all when the world will end. Whats worse is people actually believe and listen to this, all i can say is; lame-o's... okay that made me pretty lame saying that, but i don't care! haha.

next thing we know everyone will be saying the world will end in december 2012, just because of that film. Again, all that is needed to be said is, PATHETIC. Don't believe predictions, not even weather ones, most of the time they lie.

I want to go to Chernobyl, my friend went there the other week and he said it was interesting, i saw the photos and the place is a wreck, all because of that nuclear explosion like 20 years ago. But it has really wanted to make me go!

The Apprentice counts as new day stuff right? Well i'm going to talk about it anyway.. I hate Edna, she is a walking joke, who does she think she is wearing those black gloves. She talks down to people, she is too old for the apprentice, i'm pretty sure she's older than The Sugar himself. And that lad who went out the first week, i think he was called edward, anyway, what was he on, he was absolutely rubbish at being a PM. Susan i think will do really well in this, she seems to be doing good so far. but some of them ladies i dont think i have heard talk yet, lazy backgrounders. as for Leon, i think he will get quite far, even though he's been having a bad start. But Jim is by far the best, an absolute legend he is, he can talk his way in and out or everything, i hope he wins.

bon voyage x x x

Home is where the heart is... or where the mother is to cook and do your washing

SO i'm back in the glamorous and fabulous city that is Dundee again. just for 2 weeks though, lets see how it goes.

since getting home yesterday i have already embarked on various adventures that consist of a 7k jog around the park today without being stabbed, a trip to the cousins house for a smaller adventure, a drive around the city with my instructor, a trip to the Caribbean where i fought with pirates to seek the fountain of youth, and many fights with the beloved sister - may she rest in peace.

tomorrow i plan to do 10k, or more round the park. this time on my own, and without the rollie pollies and cart wheels..

rollie pollie sounds a bit racist doesn't it, like i'm talking about rolling some polish people down a hill or something. but by rollie pollies i mean somersaults.

as it was one of the very first words i spoke in life, its my favourite food and its also the name of this blog, i feel i should mention something about cream crackers. i left a nearly full pack OPEN in my flat in glasgow, for 2 whole weeks, when i go back they will be soft and inedible!

ciao for now x x x

Deserted

Family wise, i am stuck on an deserted island.. i dont believe they exist anymore.

Papa was off in Budapest and things.

Brother 1 is married and we dont speak much anyway unless we are in the same room

Brother 2, well we dont speak much unless we are in the same room.

Mama texts, but i forget to reply

...

And sister, well where do i begin with this one! We used to chat all the time and go on skype and that but nooooooo, not anymore, she got stolen by a boy and now she talks to him all the time.

i dont even think she exists apart from some mini conversations that consist of 1 word answers and a couple of texts today when she was bored at work.

James = a sister stealer!

that is all x x x

I stand in the ocean because it is the only place my tears seem small

The title, well because i wrote my sister an awesome story which had this phrase in it, so why not.

Well my papa is coming to collect me on wednesday to steal me and drag me back to dundee for 2 weeks. it'll be good i can mess with my sister, i know she misses me. we can have out ASDA trips that i am sure she has missed and a bit of QST time, which you people out there dont get to know, private joke with me and the sis.

pickled onion monster munch crisps. nom nom nom.

i am getting my dinner made for me in half an hour.. even though it is 6pm i am still in my pyjami-jams so i best be getting ready. otherwise i would feel lazy if i stayed in them all day.

better wise up and get changed now actually..

peace out ma sista x x x

Its 1.46am

If a panda gets struck by lightening, does its white hair turn black, and black hair turn white?

The Rebels

You know, them people that rebel against the world, like umm Bin laden, but he's now ''dead'', at least thats what we are made to think. i bet he is alive... ''buried at sea'' right, surely we would get to see pictures of the body or something.

Other rebels, well they are aliens, they are just sitting on their little anti-gravity planets, eating popcorn and watching us, ready for attack.

actually thats not really rebelling is it :/ haha

Okay well i have run out of other rebels, cause my mind is going all funny, i think i ate out of date chicken. NOT GOOD.

I AM A REBEL AGAINST THE WORLD! oops, caps lock.

totziens (or however you spell it) :) x x x